Collapse

He cheated on me. And I called it off. Just like that, my dreams are dashed and I am left picking the pieces. Yet again. Why do I never learn? Why did I not give up when I had promised myself that I would? How do I stop the universe collapsing all over me? How do I wake up tomorrow, like usual, pretending everything is fine. How do I be in office tomorrow and continue working as usual. I feel like my whole being - my entire surface area and the internal organs it harbours is a giant open wound. How do I go back into the world feeling vulnerable as fuck. I need to cause myself physical pain. In order to focus all my conscious attention on the physical pain.