Ever since the start of this blog, I finally spent a nearly sleepless night in Mumbai. Well, technically I am not in Mumbai - as has been pointed out many times. I am in Navi Mumbai.
I have a notebook with the title of "Courage". Today morning, my courage failed me. I read the title of Shiv Khera's famous book as " You Can't Win".
So, what caused this sleepless night and the depressed morning thereafter? Partly it was the book I had been reading last night. Stephen King's "Pet Sematary". I hadn't had any dinner last night - so, I had hunger pangs deep in the night. Fear did not keep me awake though. It was worry, it was dissapointment, it was the way my life has turned out. Even after trying and trying to resist my destiny, I am looking at a future defined by the tragedy which befell me six and a half years back. I continue to consider the aftermath of the tragedy as the real tragedy. The part where I became dead to the people to whom I mattered. Or when I realized that there were far worse tragedies that could happen to me than the one which befell me. When people gave me hope and then, ran away.
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